Q & A

I am going to attempt to answer the recurring questions I am getting from friends. Since everything has been happening so quickly, I have been rather sporadic with information I have given simply out of oversight/my brain moving a thousand miles a second. I had also planned on spreading out information on the process over a time, so trying to do it smooshed together has proven difficult for me!

I’m going to start with one question that I debated even discussing, and while I know there is no need for me to explain our situation for the nosey, I do want to explain it for those of you who sincerely care and are interested.

How did you get A’s referral so quickly?

First let me say, no one has outright asked me this question 1) because my close friends and family already knew the answer to the question and 2) because most people know that’s kind of rude to ask. BUT, I know people have asked this question to my friends, because they have had to ask me about whether it was OK to share. I am not posting this question/answer because I am angry, but because I want to educate and because I know many of you genuinely care to know.

Yes, we were only on the wait list for 3.5 months, and yes, it was expected to be more like 24 months. Throughout the adoption process, we felt God’s convictions about opening up our parameters to include some medical special needs. We did not announce this as it was a personal decision and we did not feel we “owed” it to anyone to publicly announce it, especially since we didn’t know how that would work out in our personal adoption process. We told people who knew our hearts and would support us in our decision. Since our referral of precious A, sadly, we have heard of some gossiping about our motives behind this decision. This has hurt us greatly, and while these people will not play much of a role in our daughter’s life anyway, it’s still hard to hear. Above all, we believe God is sovereign, so even if our motives behind opening to include some special needs was to get a referral sooner (false, false, false), that wouldn’t change what God was doing. The story God has woven together throughout this process is precious, and every tiny detail lines up in a way that only someone far superior to us could do. I won’t go into it here, because it is personal to our family, and we choose to share in person as opposed to the whole world (OK, not that the whole world reads this).

So yes, our little lady has had some medical concerns, but let me tell you… God is bigger. He continues to show us that daily as we hear reports of our sweetie’s status. She is a miracle, and He continues to work miracles in her life.

When will A get to come home?

As with many questions in adoption, the answer is not certain. We are waiting, yet again =) The process from here goes something like this:

-Be submitted to the US Embassy in Ethiopia.

-Have interview with someone who knew A.

-Be cleared for travel and be given an embassy date.

-Travel, pick up A, and go to our embassy appointment.

-Come home!

Obviously, it’s not as simple as it looks… lots of little steps for each big step to occur, but still. So, right now we are waiting to be submitted to embassy (they are working on getting A’s passport ready and a medical examination completed). On average, lately, it is taking 4-8 weeks after court, so we could have just another month or so, or maybe two. I will definitely keep you all updated as we progress through each step.

What do you all still need?

A lot. But, we aren’t even worried about that anymore. God just keeps proving He is God. We currently need both finances for travel and material items for A. I wrote about the matching grant we were awarded here, and the webpage to accept donations on our behalf officially opened a little over a week ago. As of this morning, we were at $1700 of the $7500 we need to raise in just over a week! We cannot say THANK YOU enough to those of you who have given and have told us you will be doing so. Thank you for following God’s nudges. Some have asked about a deadline for this grant. We just need to have the money by time we are cleared to travel, so about another month or so.

Matching Grant

As far as material items go, we do have a registry on Amazon.com with some things we need (and ok, a few wants) for little A. We basically need about anything a baby needs. Since our age parameters were open to a child through 5 years old, we couldn’t really buy anything before our referral, and with everything happening so quickly, purchasing items for A has gone to the back burner as we focus on simply bringing her home. Thank you to to those of you who have already purchased items from our registry or donated items to us. Both are equally appreciated!

Tenges Amazon Registry

And, above all, we need prayer. Prayer for our sweetie’s health, for our future attachment and bonding, and that the process at the US Embassy would go smoothly. All for God’s glory!

Where is A right now?

Our girly is at our agency’s transition home in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, called Hannah’s Hope. It is a beautiful place for these kiddos to grow and develop. The special mothers (women who care for them) are just that, so special. The staff at Hannah’s Hope adores the kiddos there. I have been to several orphanages, and this is not an orphanage. They are definitely fattening up our sweetie! 😉

Here is the room A stays in… the turtle room =)

And here is the courtyard right after laundry/washing for the day.

If you have any other questions, feel free to leave one in the comments section or shoot me an email at bctenges@gmail.com. If you have some questions that you are afraid to ask, ask those too. I know some of you are just as excited as we are, and we’d really like to do our best to explain as much as you’d like!

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3 thoughts on “Q & A

  1. I love reading these blogs! Your experience is very humbling. I have a question, though! What does ‘A’ stand for? 🙂 Is it her initial?

    • Shelli… thank you! And yes, it is her first initial. We aren’t sharing her name until she is home for confidentiality purposes… same reason we can’t show her face yet =) Soon, hopefully!

  2. Just want you to know that although there is just no money for me to give like I wish I could, I can and do pray for you, Ryan, and baby A! I love these postings and your mom’s updates and can’t wait to get my hands on this sweet babe of yours. Know that through you have seen God’s hand work in miraculous ways and I have enjoyed watching every step of your life unfold. Please let me or your mom know when there is anything specific I should be praying about. Love to you, Tonya A

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